Choosing a doula in New York City can feel overwhelming. There are so many options in Manhattan and across NYC, and every website seems warm and inviting. How do you actually know who is the right fit for you and your family?
As a NYC birth and postpartum doula (and Swiss-trained midwife), I wanted to share the questions I wish every parent would ask before hiring a doula.
1. “What is your philosophy about birth and postpartum?”
In NYC, you’ll find doulas with all kinds of approaches: highly medical, very holistic, faith-based, super hands-on, or more quietly supportive.
Ask your doula how they see their role in a Manhattan hospital or New York City birth center. Do they see birth as something to “manage” or something your body already knows how to do? Their answer should make you feel calmer—not more stressed.
2. “Where do you usually attend births in NYC?”
Some doulas work mostly in Manhattan hospitals, others are more in Brooklyn or Queens, and some focus on home births.
If you’re planning to give birth at a specific New York City hospital, it’s helpful if your doula knows the layout, the culture, and the policies there. Familiarity often means they know where to find the extra birth ball, who to ask about a breast pump, and how to help you feel less like a number.
3. “How do you support my partner?”
In NYC, partners often juggle demanding jobs, commuting, grandparents visiting, and logistics. A good doula doesn’t replace your partner—they guide them.
Ask for concrete examples: How do they involve partners in labor? What do they do if your partner is anxious, jet-lagged from travel, or simply overwhelmed?
4. “What is your background?”
Your doula doesn’t have to be a midwife, but you should know their training.
You can ask:
Are you certified?
What courses or continuing education have you done recently?
Do you have experience with premies?
In a complex healthcare environment like New York City, up-to-date, evidence-based knowledge really matters.
5. “What happens if my birth takes a long time?”
New York babies are famous for being born at 3 a.m. after 30 hours of labor.
Ask how your doula handles long labors, inductions, or when things don’t go according to plan. Do they have backup doulas? How do they coordinate with them? You deserve to know who might walk into your Manhattan hospital room at 2 a.m. if your labor is very long.
6. “How do you support me after the birth?”
Postpartum support in NYC is not a luxury—it’s a survival tool.
Ask what’s included after the birth:
How many postpartum visits are included?
Do they offer breastfeeding or chestfeeding support?
Can they help with pumping if your baby is in the NICU or special care nursery?
Do they offer separate postpartum doula services?
7. “How do you see my background and family situation?”
If you’re far from family, new to New York City, or navigating pregnancy in a second (or third) language, your doula should respect that.
Share that you’re an international family, new to Manhattan, or don’t have local grandparents. Ask how they’ll support you emotionally, not just physically.
A gentle reminder
Choosing a doula in NYC isn’t about finding the “perfect” person on paper. It’s about finding someone you feel safe with—someone who listens, explains options clearly, and respects your choices.
If you’re planning a birth in New York City and want calm, evidence-based support, you can learn more about my birth doula services and postpartum doula support here.